life isn't fair

What if??

2011-04-04T13:13:00.001+08:00

Time will come whn we find that one person…

Who laugh merrily at ur stupid joke…

Who appreciate all ur smile…

Who enjoy all those time wf u…

Who love u for ur imperfection…

N who do all her might jz for ur happiness…including loosing u…

What will u do??

N wht if the lv is impossible for a person like u???

ACTION!!! ACTION!!! ACTION!!! It's time for ACTION!!!

Brave urself n spoke out loud.. let the love bloom or prepare to be crushed…

Or else, time may passby, but feelings will remain…

Frustrating will be much more sweeter than regretting…

The word of WHAT IF….

My future and let it be mine….

2010-10-05T10:03:00.000+08:00

I am tired being told here and there… do this n tht…
Why cant I decide for myself?

M I tht reckless?? Throwing myself to the wild n dangerous life?
Or mayb I am jz hopeless...

I start seeing myself living a dull life.. pretending smthg tht I m not..
A gd daughter, a gd wife n a gd mum… merely gd isn’t enaf...
I want to be d BEST in evrythg
The best daughter, the best wife n d best mum…
How can I achieve if all I do is following wht people said?
Wht best for people might b worse for me…
I m being mold...
Puppet is merely puppet. Thy wont be human...

I want… no, I NEED my time... To figure out what I wanna do…
Why can’t I take my time?

I might be in the picture, but can’t be seen… for I am standing under people’s shadow...

Apple vs Orange

2010-06-14T16:11:00.002+08:00

Different people, different personalities, different perspective. One is not better than the other just different.

Peoples are made to be different..
Like apple, sweet and crunchy.. While orange, sweet and sour..

Both have different taste but still yummy..

Lots of woman love to ask killer question“me n her, who’s more pretty?” or, “do u think I look like that?”
It’s simple question but be careful dude, watch ur word..

if:

“u r way prettier”, she might stare disbelieving at u..

but if:

“she’s prettier”, man, u’ll be dead meat…

so, here's d key: “u’re an apple, she’s an orange..but all I see is only my apple”, I can guarantee, every woman will be ecstatic!!
So, who said woman is so complicated??

Restless Mind

2010-06-05T12:59:00.003+08:00

I m wondering, why some people can hurt u greatly when some jz uncapable of doing so?

Only by a word, d damage is beyond repair? Only by a single act, perhaps?

Jealousy, is it? Maybe.. Why?? Maybe I know...

Perhaps I should run away before it's infecting my relationship with others..

But, will that solve the problem?

I know what I should do, but d solution only bring other problem.. N I don't want tht..

All that I know now is, ignoring is d best way...

Yes, I might hurt n hurt n hurt again...

But it's better thn nothing at all, isn't it?

And all my life I has been ignored.. can I suffered it again? Will i survive again?

I am not needed.. I am not special anymore..

but all I know is, one day... I'll be.. to somebody..

Do you know how much I care?

2010-05-12T17:00:00.001+08:00

Perhaps I look stone-cold..
Perhaps I never look serious enough..
Maybe that is why u never believe how much I care for you??
Do u know how hurt it is, when I know u’re needed somebody n tht person will never be me..
Do u know how hurt it is, when I know u’re in trouble but all I do is to watch over you from far..
Do you know how hurt it is, when I’ll be d last person who knew??
Do you know how hurt it is, when all I can do is worrying over u??
I m a human.. with a feeling..
I m a human.. with a concern..
n I do CARE about u..
Plz stop hurting urself..cz u're hurting me too..

lucky enough to walk in my shoe....

2010-04-23T09:50:00.010+08:00

We all has a story to tell.. Different life.. Different shoes.. Sometimes, u'd been tired.. Thinking, what had happen in ur life.. What u should hv done, what to be avoid.. N u thought that u hv the meanest shoes, n no one will survive if they in ur shoes... but does it really??

U thought that people treat u bad..

U thought that nobody care about u..

But, don't u still survive? breathing?

Yes, my life ain't easy...

There always be bump in my journey..

Along the way,

I fell..

I shed tears..

I experienced heartbroken..

I felt uncertain..

I feel lonely..

And this is my shoe.. n I m grateful enaf..

U look around, survey.. Some has worsen shoes..

Some aren't lucky enaf to meet merely bump..

They might lost along the way..

Try to walk a mile in their shoes... Ask urself, will u survive?

Congak...

2010-04-01T14:38:00.002+08:00

When I first move to a new school in Kuala Terengganu, a teacher was weird because I did very well in my Math exam.. She even thought I was cheating... I can't blame her totally though, because I always get punished for not remembering multiplication table.. Whenever she asked verbally, I failed.. So, she test me again, with a new test paper.. And, still I did splendidly... All the time of exam, she watched me... Since that, i always excused from any verbal quiz ^_^.. no more punishment...yay!!!

This is a bonus question..

7+6=?

Most of u will straight away answer 13..

But for me, d process of answering will be

7+6=(6+6)+1=13

It is d easiest example..

Try a different one,

8x7=?

[8x5]+8+8=56

I took more than a min to answer tht 1...

I wonder if u understand what I wrote? [scrathing my head].. Anyway, so here's d thing.. I m very bad in congak(mental calculating).. I did not notice that I am having that trouble until form 4... But by that time, there's no more trouble bcz of d miracle of calculator..hahaha..

Insya Allah... I will survive

2010-03-27T22:24:00.005+08:00

Everytime you feel like you cannot go on

You feel so lost

That your so alone

All you is see is night

And darkness all around

You feel so helpless

You can’t see which way to go

Don’t despair and never loose hope

Cause Allah is always by your side

Insha Allah x3

Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Everytime you can make one more mistake

You feel you can’t repent

And that its way too late

Your’re so confused, wrong decisions you have made

Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame

Don’t despair and never loose hope

Cause Allah is always by your side

Insha Allah x3

Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Insha Allah x3

Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Turn to Allah

He’s never far away

Put your trust in Him

Raise your hands and pray

OOO Ya Allah

Guide my steps don’t let me go astray

You’re the only one that showed me the way,

Showed me the way x2

Insha Allah x3

Insya Allah we’ll find the way

InsyaAllah by Maher Zain..

I m in deadly mood, yes I admit..

I drive fast n dangerous...If u stress ride wf me, jz imagine when I m alone??

I'd throw my money...for a pair sunglass tht i don't need..book tht won't be read..half-eaten cake..

Evrythg doesn't seem right..cakes burned..needles broken..plan ruined..

But, InsyaAllah... I will survive...

Me n my patient

2010-03-18T14:37:00.003+08:00

It is really hard to have book fair here in Kuching... so, i won't miss any book fair..So, ths Sunday I went.
I bought 2 books thinking tht it is 70% off for the sign on the desk said so.. The next morning I notice, it was cut to 30% only...
I went there, asking for a redeem.. N the staff said "u r suppose to read the sticker first, it said 30%" with an annoying face..

Hello, what is wrong? is this how you communicate, treat your customer?
What the heck?? Perhaps this is one way for them to kill my patient.

So, here's d thing..

1-they blame the customer to move the books from different place..But nearly all books there has 30% sticker, and they arrange all the books as if 30% and 70% belongs together! In no definite order, 30% n 70% is mixed!!
I mean they rearrange the book so why not at the time they should put back the book to where they belong? N they are put in a desk written big : 70% for member, 60% for non member..

2-about the sticker, there not a single sign saying it, when I point "u should at least put a sign saying tht d price is according to sticker" n she said "it's a common sense!!" what the heck? come to think about it, if you have 2 different price, it's a normal ethic to pay the lowest one.. Especially it's a very old books.. At the same place, I can buy the latest book for 30% !! And, I know they just a bunch of lazy people who hate to do troublesome work..[sigh]

3-what I ask is simple, I don't mind paying for 30% , but all I ask is to be treated as a customer.. Why don't start with "I m sorry for this misunderstanding, miss....."
here, let me emphasize the magic word... SORRY...

Crushing apart

2010-03-10T22:44:00.002+08:00

I wonder how it feel to be crush under a big stone.. Is it same as how I feel right now?? Though there's no heavy stone but how I suffocated.. how my heart crushed.. My heart felt heavier each moment as if all air in the world is still not enaf... I keep on breathing, hoping that the heartache will lessen but instead it's growing stronger.. Perhaps now every breath is necessity,no longer a joy.. Maybe my life became meaningless..

I prepared to be hurt..but never will I be prepare to be hurt this much.. No word can express the sadness, emptyness, loneliness that I feel..

Oh, how I didn't show d world how I feel, coz if I do, then it's the end of u and me.. I still clinging, hoping for u... n how I don't want to fall apart.. how I can't remove ur photo, our photo together.. cz it's d only thing that remind me of how wonderful life is..

I LOVE YOU...

but mere love is not enaf... if we are meant for each other, then destiny will bring us back together.. meanwhile, plz open up ur heart.. cz u'll never know what's there for u..

A great book

2009-09-08T09:30:00.005+08:00

I read a book in last May. Actually I'm getting tired of thriller and romance, so I decided to change for new genre, science fiction. Not that I don't like them, just that i'd been tired of the low quality of science fiction novels for this past few years. So, the first book I saw that attract my attention was The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.

I have to admit, I was so caught with the book. 3 days in a row, stop only for life's necessity. No matter how i tried to rest my eyes, I can't. I just can't, I feel like drugged!!!

The Time Traveler's Wife is a story of a couple, Clare and Henry. Henry has some genetic disorder that make him to time travel and because of that Clare started to meet Henry when she was 6 years old. When she 20, she at last met the real (at the moment) Henry who has no idea who she is. She at first sort of frustrated because Henry is not the Henry that she met, for this younger version of Henry is sort of not matured?? And started there, they moving on but you guys probably want to read them so I don't want to spoil your fun... This probably some big spoiler, but I had to tell you all. Do not expect a happily ever after ending, because he died in the end. However, she keep on living for hoping to meet him again when she's probably 82 years old??<--i think. Sigh...so sad.. sound realistic, no?? It's life, sooner or later people died. Why the heck i tell you? Sigh...because I do have some regret for the ending. Anyway, do not worry. To make up, the author give her a new reason to live...

Anyway, this story really succeed on making me laugh and cry. Hate to admit,yeah..I cried, like a baby. I never for a real life reason, cried like I did. By the end, I am so tired... But I can't sleep, the words keep on spinning in my head, it's 4 a.m but I can't sleep!!!! So much for a great book, it really take my soul away!!

I heard that they make a movie's based on this book. Do I feel like watching it?? No, I maybe not. Why?? Because I don't want some stupid version of Hollywood mess with the imprinted perfect story in my head..

Jealousy, where does it begin?

2009-08-25T19:34:00.000+08:00

It was so long ago before her existence, where her boyfriend is glued to Inez. He has tried everything just to woo Inez..including by sympathy...by selling her name. “I was drown by my gf attitudes”

When she arrived, perhaps it was her sixth sense or that is just who she is… Jealousy for Inez is too overwhelm.. “Who is this Inez, what does guys see in her and not in me?” Probably this is the question that hunting her nightmare. It was unbearable for her, to just sit next to Inez, while she so insecure or nothing and Inez has everything that she wants.

She turned that jealousy to hatred. ’Looks could kill’; literally yes, but if it does, Inez most likely died so many times before.

Boys stick to the beauties like flies while girls fly away from beauties like cockroach..That is what happen in reality. As a typical girl, she hates Inez.. For what? Her beauty? Her intelligence? Or her money?

Her bf tells her Inez tried to woo him not the other around. She is angry, hating Inez. But what frightens her the most is how his bf looks at Inez betray his lie. Deep down in her heart, she knows the truth and she afraid. She knows how unfaithful her bf is. Instead of angry to her bf, she turns them to Inez, for Inez is a reflection of her bf women, sexist; feminist; beauties not a plain girl like her. She needs someone to blame. Not her bf, because she can’t afford to lose him. Plain girl can’t wish for more, is it?? “I can’t ask for more”, is what she thinks..

It’s been a while since I wrote something that I can be proud of. This is a bit of story that I taught will be different if she gives herself a chance, to love herself for who she is.. The hatred blacken her heart, ate her youth. Thinking too much of others, gives no breath to her life. She’s is suffered, drown by her hatred till she can’t see life’s joy. Instead of asking why this happen to her, she supposed to learn how to fix her life. But, she fails and has drowned further…

one fateful day

2009-04-11T20:13:00.010+08:00

well, it sure isn't a doomsday but not pleasant s well... march 23, 2009... u c, it was supposed to be a gal's day out, to chill out!! To pretend tht boy doesn't exist in ths world(well, it jz me of cz) Until...

OMG!!! Her scoot's tyre punctured!! well, nthg harm done. But still, it was in a middle of a day.. The HEAT, NOISE & DUST!! And in SUNDAY??? if one day fate bring me s a businesswoman, I WILL NEVER CLOSE my business in Sunday..

Yah, I know..This was not worth to write in blog. Jz tht now I don't feel like writing anythg...Hvn't been myself lately(Stress Mode).So, instead of text, I decide to put more picture. Let the picture speak.

Hello2, cn any1 come n help us??Yani is stressed out!! "WHY?? WHY ME???"
As for me:

PEACE!! Bz seizing the moment with picture.. HAhaha

People's kept staring staring at us, well...who won't?? Who, in their perfect mind will take pictures at the side of road with one punctured scoot??

It was hard steel decision but to call Amad for help(It smthg to do wf a GAL Pride). Then, we'd been to 3 different workshop to find tht none of thm hs Suzuki Step tube. And 3 more closed. We had been circling, from bkt beruang to ayer keroh and guess where we finally meet ths miraculous(in ths term would be, AT LAST!!!) workshop.. Here!! in Tmn Tasik Utama...we should hv stayed home after all, we r so damn tired, but we decide..IT'S PARTY TIME!! Continued to spend quality time in JJ, as if nthg happened tht day...with borrowed bike..

B00k n I....

2009-03-19T00:45:00.006+08:00

bookworm?? i m a book lover, but i didn't like the sound of bookworm.. why don't they use more cute phrases,, maybe bookkitty?? or booktiger?? huhu..never mind.. ths topic is all about how come i love books so much.. so many people, especially my housemate been quite speculate my passion or hunger with reading. Books here include comics, novels and magazine.. [cough]...nope, i didn't read much educational books, the last 'educated' book i read is how to make everyone fall in love with you.. :))) (hvnt got experimented all the new details i read). i did wonder sometimes why i do love to read so much. i can't seem to evoke any of my families tht love books as much as i do, but we(me n my siblings; zax, fahmi n atiqah) do seem to worship comics..

I remembered the 1st english book i read is Peter Pan. A gift for 2nd place in class that was given from my class teacher, Mdm Estee Quack in Primary 3. Well, suppose Cinderella for me and Peter Pan for Azroy(top class student) but she's mistakenly gave me the Peter Pan. Well,, i do love Peter Pan more than Cinderella, cz for me Cinderella story will be more interesting if she smack her stepmum in her face. Huhu..

The first novel i read is Darkest Hour by VC Andrews. I got this book from my adopted uncle. It belongs to his late daughter, and he allowed me to take it. I was in Primary 6. I can't remember much but I do know that the book is thicker than any text books at that time.. N lots of words, no picture. But, I still read and took me a year to finish the book!! And believe me, this book ain't for a kid.. Huhu.. 18sx LOL.. The book is full with sorrow from beginning to end.. There is no happy ending,, well VC Andrews is famous for her gothic romances novels.

And since then, I'd been spend lot of time n money for novels. Now, with the existence of internet and rapidshare i can downloaded unlimited novels for my reading pleasure.. I do think it is not fair for the author, because we're supposed to buy their book cz they put lot of effort in writing them. But, I am merely a student will limited money and enourmos passion for reading.. Sorry VC Andrews, Stephanie Meyer, Cornelia Funke, Meg Cabot and all other authors out there. Who ever seen any wishing star, please tell me sooner. Cz I'm gonna wish for a castle full with books, my personal heaven :))

because everyone said so...Trendy or trash??

2009-03-15T00:22:00.004+08:00

There were time in my school where everybody talk about bg's brand(i couldn't say wht d brand was,, some people frm my school probably remembered)..Wallets, bags, shirts, bla2... N some will show-off wf pride attitude for thy hd bought bg's. So, I thought because evry1 talks about it, probably bg's really tht great n i decided to check out for my new wallet. My opinion? They r ok..not tht great, jz an exaggeration.. Hey, aesthetic value is abstract so don't get mad at me jz because i didn't fond of ths bg's brand. For tht i m frustrated with bg's collection of wallet, i turn n buy some from tropicana's.. Whn i got back to school, some said "knp bli tropicana? rugi betul baik bli bg". Literally, "u far better off buying bg's rather thn tropicana". So, now i'm not trendy just because i bought a very self-content stuff from different brand, when everyone talks about bg's???

Another example, jz because emily went to genting las weekend, now u need to go to genting too??
Or u wouldn't buy lip gloss jz because ur fren doesn't like to use thm?? (Who's lip gloss is it anyway, tht u hv to consider ur fren??)
Or u want to buy d same dress ur fren bought just to show tht u too, cn be fashionable??
Or afraid to wear differently thn ur fren, because afraid of wht thy may think.. (Did ur fren buy clothes for u??)

Just because some people thought one particular thing is superb, doesn't mean we too, must think tht the thing is awesome too.. I'm not going to say wht people said isn't matter, it just tht u need to be true to urself.. Ask opinion, but on ur own decide, because it's ur life... And most importantly, just because everyone said so doesn't mean it is the best....Be different otherwise u r jz another typical person, ordinary.....

love it!!

2009-03-01T02:20:00.006+08:00

This is a dedication, to some1 special.
I love it whn:
1. u showered me wf 'i lv u'.
2. u suprised me wf flowers in a full crowded restaurant.
3. u made me laugh whenever i mad.
4. u held me frm falling whenever i'd slept on a bike ride.
5. people asked u "Is sh ur gf?" n u answered, "no, she's my future wife".
6. u put on helmet for me.
7. u throw your childish grin.
8. u hold my hand at hospital whenever i sick even late at nite.
9. everyone in my family adore u.
10. u look at me like i m a first-prize rather than lucky-winner.
11. u sing a special song about me...
12. u do anythg.. cz i m lucky to hv u in my life...

Friendship!!

2009-02-15T23:53:00.006+08:00

Do you think that u r blessed by lot of friends?? Believe me if i say that you wouldn't realize whose ur friend really are till u fall down, really bad..Let's be more dramatic, say if u r going to fall down a cliff. Friend will give their hand, though they know that neither will survive (especially if u like me-44.5kg: max weight, trying to pull some1 like amad-60kg??<--for sure both will fall in few seconds).. Thing is, this stuff only happen in movies. My story is more realistic though:

There was this moment, when I have no1 to turn to.. I was lost, devastated.. Seems like ages ago we are friend, but she still accept me and help me all the way in an open arm.. And I starting to regret few years we haven't been together, wht we hv been missing..
There are 2 people's I cnt live w/o.. One of them is my bestfriend.. She always there, a shoulder to cry on, a light in the nite.. Sound like lesbi, huahaha..but trust me, I'm not.. It just, I used to not trust a person to be too divine in their friendship. I always be surrounded by masked people, full of pretending. Matt Parkman ability, reading minds going to help in this situation. Well, only in drama such thing exists.. It is great to have a very bestfriend in ur bright and not forgotten, the darkness in life!! Thx for always be there!!

How to break up??

2009-02-14T19:06:00.003+08:00

There are no right way how to break a relationship. But somehow, at least try to minimize the impact to our once beloved person in a proper way. I'd come across with a friend, who get her last word from his x's: "I'm tired pretending to love u anymore. I'd fell in love with someone else.." <--what a jerk!! After spend nearly 3 years together, how can some people be that cold?? Ok, no love<---I got it, but haven't you heard a word of 'compassionate'? To the person who stay by u when u down and grab u before u fall... Does that 3 years give u more thn jz love?? Friendship, companion <---definitely the purest friendship given. And of course, to add more ice into hs coldness, he asked for ths breakup 3 month before final exam?? Can't u find another perfect timing?? God...Can't u held ur tongue??? It isn't fair if the guy can keep on living like nothg happen and happy wf hs new girlfriend while ths girl have to go through ths purgatory and watching ths guy every single day as she meant nothing to him?? Juz 3 months more,, thn thy both will be apart...why cant ths guy wait till tht moment?? Simple word: Jerk, cold-blooded man!!!

Look into the mirror!!! Now!!!

2009-02-13T00:04:00.005+08:00

I always hate my lips.. Cz my lower lip looks waaay too big compare to the upper one. And, my teeth(you hv no ideas) nvr going to help too... but somehow, i was lucky to notice that my eyes are big (ridiculously people find attractive), and that is my friend, is the biggest asset for me.. Basically, what I'm trying to say is we took too much on the bad side to notice the beauty of ourself.. Another example, say if u hv a big butt..u always look at it n feel bad about it..but, what u should think about is, that u have a nice body, curve which are guys could be dreaming off!! Some people would die to hv ur body... Second, usually xl wearers hv quite critical low self-esteem... Let me tell u smthg, s far s i live i always thought tht xl people's are cute..Seriously, I do think so!! All u hv to do is wear appropriate dress, which will emphasize ur beauty..N stop staring down at the floor, look straight into people's eyes!! Now, what I'm trying to say is we always overlook.. We think too much of our scarcity but we simply ignored the part of us that others found beautiful...That's why...Start searching now, looks for the best part of u!!!!

Learning Process

2009-02-11T14:51:00.003+08:00

I am still new for this blogging..so, hope u all cn endure this TOO ORDINARY blog..somehow I still wonder, right now, while i'm writing, who the hell is going to read my blog? Huhuhu.. Nvm, still thx for reading.. Basically wht's i'm trying to do in my blog is a girl's perspective of life. And the hardness n pain that we, as a girl (probably woman(wait til i'm matured enaf)) going through in daily life. Well, jz wait til i hv stuff to write about. And b4 putting my hand down, i jz wanna say, English is my 2nd language, so please bear it if my text is sounded like kindergarten students. Huahaha..Ok..c u all soon.Thx for visiting my blog.
P/s: ats desakan, gambar tlh ditarik semula.hahahaha